


but I know that I'm safe here with you, cause we made it through everything the old and the new

by Spannah339



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Cara | CaptainPuffy-centric, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Overworking, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Cara | CaptainPuffy, STRICTLY platonic as with most everything i write, Sam | Awesamdude Needs a Hug, Sam | Awesamdude-Centric, Will add tags as I go, but like written by someone who has no experience beyond reading fanfictions so please bare with me, lmk if i need to tag more stuff, no one is going to see this bc we do not have a fandom tag woop woop, not entirely sure how to tag that one, that should be an actual tag he really does, tommy dealing with being dead and then not, touch sensitivity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-27 05:00:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30117513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spannah339/pseuds/Spannah339
Summary: “Puffy?” he asked, and Puffy’s concern only grew. She stopped pacing, staring up at the speaker, then back at the portal, then began pacing again, arms folded behind her back.“Hey Sam,” she said.“If… if you’re here to see Dream I can’t let any visitors in right now,” Sam said. His voice was dull, as though he was just going through the motions of what he should be saying.“I’m not here to see him,” Puffy said.aka Puffy forces Sam to take a BREAKtitle from The London Air Raids by Vian Izak.Has the potential to turn into an ongoing semi-connected series, bare with me.Edit: the above happened, so as I get inspiration (feel free to send it), I shall write stuff about everyone hanging out in Snowchester, people healing and fun shenanigans (see A/N at the end of the first chapter for more of my ideas)
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Sam | Awesamdude
Comments: 6
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> it's late and i cannot sleep so this is being edited and posted I blame any mistakes on lack of sleep
> 
> anyway sam has a lot going on right now someone let this man rest
> 
> this is obviously about the characters in the dream smp, not the people.

Puffy stood in the entrance room of the prison, arms crossed and tapping her foot. She was staring into the slightly mesmerising purple swirls of the portal in front of her, the faint humming filling her mind. 

She pressed the doorbell again and began to pace anxiously. 

Finally, there was a crackle of static and the speaker in the corner of the room burst into life, Sam’s voice echoing out of it. 

“Puffy?” he asked, and Puffy’s concern only grew. He sounded _tired._

She stopped pacing, staring up at the speaker, then back at the portal, then began pacing again, arms folded behind her back. 

" Hey Sam,” she said. 

“If… if you’re here to see Dream I can’t let any visitors in right now,” Sam said. His voice was dull, as though he was just going through the motions of what he should be saying. 

“I’m not here to see him,” Puffy said. (She still wasn’t ready, still didn’t know if it was a good idea to visit him. Still didn’t know if he deserved visitors after everything he had done). “Sam can you just… come out here?” 

There was a long silence from the other end, and Puffy let out a small sigh, pacing back and forth again. 

“Is everything okay?” he asked finally. 

“Everything’s fine - I just want to talk to you. Properly.” 

“Okay.” Again, there was silence, and Puffy waited hopefully, praying he would actually listen to her and emerge from the prison. “It’s not the Eggpire, right?” 

“No, Sam - everything’s fine.” As fine as it could be, in this world. But she bit her lip, tried to keep the annoyance and concern out of her voice. 

“Tommy’s - Tommy’s okay?” His voice shook, more than it had been before, and Puffy’s heart clenched. 

“Tommy’s fine, Tubbo and Ranboo refuse to let him out of their sight. Please Sam, just come and talk to me.” 

“I - I’ve got so much to do,” he muttered, and his voice was almost too low for Puffy to hear. She clenched her fists, wishing she could contact Bad or Ant, the only other people who had access to the prison, but she couldn't trust them right now. Sam had made it impenetrable - and while locking Dream securely in, he effectively did the same for himself. 

“Then let me in,” she said. “I don’t need to see him, just… let me through the portal.” 

Again, long silence stretched and Puffy was so close to breaking the portal herself - mining fatigue be damned - and breaking in through the Nether. 

“Okay.” His voice sounded so small when he finally answered, and Puffy couldn’t help remember the absolute mess he’d been in when she and Tommy had broken him out of the egg. “Come through the portal.” 

She stepped through the portal, feeling the familiar tingling sensation of the magic around her and a moment later was in the far warmer room in the Nether. A few seconds later, she stepped through again and found herself in a much larger room. 

She paused a moment to take it in, the high walls, dark and foreboding, the doors leading off both sides. A loud cry from a guardian sounded and she felt the sudden weight of the mining fatigue press down on her. 

Sam was sitting across from her, standing behind a small desk, a lectern in front of it. He looked  _ exhausted _ . 

His shoulders were slumped, his eyes dull and without their usual spark. Despite the scales around his face, Puffy could easily see the bags under his eyes. He attempted a smile when she stepped through, but it was heavy and didn’t reach far. 

“You’re a mess, Sam!” Puffy cried. “Have you been looking after yourself?” 

“I’ve been busy,” Sam muttered. He looked down, staring at the paper and books scattered around the desk in front of him. “Someone… someone set off bombs… I need to figure out who.” His words were slurred, dull, weak. 

“Sam…” Puffy began. He glanced up at her, then seemed unable to meet her eyes. 

“Tommy said he was going to escape,” he said finally. 

“He  _ can’t _ escape. Sam - Tommy was scared, and I don’t really blame him after what he went through, but he was scared and afraid of what Dream might be able to do.” She stepped forward, standing on the other side of the desk, leaning her hands on the cold stone. “I know how you work - you wouldn’t say this prison is inescapable unless it was. He can’t get out.” 

Puffy felt heavy, her arms drawing her down, her legs feeling like they wouldn’t be able to support her forever. How long had Sam been sitting here, the mining fatigue draining his energy?

“When was the last time you slept?” she asked softly. Sam shook his head. 

“I - I need to figure it out. For Tommy… I let him down,” he muttered. “I - need to protect him. Can’t let it happen again.” He looked up, eyes full of so much  _ guilt _ that Puffy felt her heart clench. “Is Hannah okay?” he asked suddenly. 

“Wha - yeah, Hannah’s fine.” 

“Okay. That’s good. Bad and Ant and Punz were going after her…” He trailed off, scratching his arm absently. “I - it spoke to me. It keeps… it’s in my head.” He lifted his hand, pressing it to the side of his head, and his eyes were welling with tears. “Telling me… I can’t… I… I let him down, it’s my fault,” his voice was a murmur, and he scratched his arm again, and Puffy could see blood welling under his fingernails. 

She reached forward and grabbed his arm, pulling his hand away. A closer look showed that the blood was welling from old wounds - wounds that had been there ever since she had rescued him from being trapped on the egg. 

“Geeze, Sam. You’re a mess,” she said softly. Sam shook his head, pulling his hand away and staring back down at the paper. Puffy could already see the paper was covered in mad scribbles, Sam’s usually legible handwriting sloppy and unreadable. “You need to sleep.” 

He shook his head again, picking up a pen. His movements were slow, even under the fatigue, and it looked like every movement pained him. 

“I can’t let Tommy down again,” he said quietly. 

“You’re not going to help anyone in this state,” Puffy said quietly. “Come on - when was the last time you saw Fran? She probably misses you.” 

Sam glanced up at that, a small flicker of something in his eyes. 

“Fran,” he said softly, and Puffy nodded, feeling like she was talking to a child. 

“Staying in here for days isn’t going to be doing you any good. Come on, go hug Fran and sleep for a bit, okay?” 

“I -” He dropped his head, hand moving slowly to scratch his arm again. Puffy reached out and gently grabbed his hand, making sure he didn’t worsen the wound. “Puffy I - I’m so tired,” he said quietly. 

“I know,” she said quietly. 

She was as well. Tired of seeing her friends hurt, tired of the aching pain in her chest. Tired of  _ losing _ people. 

She refused to lose Sam as well. 

“Come on, there’s another way out of here - right?” she asked. Sam nodded weakly and went to stand. He swayed slightly, falling heavily back into his seat and Puffy darted around the table, carefully wrapping an arm around him. 

He leaned on her as he stood, then moved away, using his trident as support as he moved to flick a few switches on the wall. He was moving robotically, eyes still dull and tired, movements heavy and slow. 

It took some complicated actions that Puffy could barely follow, but eventually, they were looking out at the blue sky above them. Just as they were about to leave, Sam stopped, hesitating, hand gripping his trident tightly. 

“I - I shouldn’t,” he muttered. “I need to find who it was, I need to make sure Dream doesn’t escape, I need - I -” 

“Sam,” Puffy said firmly, trying to talk clearly around the lump in her throat. “It wasn’t your fault. You had a hard choice and you did what you thought was right. Don’t punish yourself for this.” 

“I - I’m so tired,” he repeated, and Puffy gently took his hands, looking up at him, eyes soft,  _ hoping _ she would be able to find the right words to get through to him. 

“Then rest. You can’t help anyone if you drive yourself into the ground. Go home and sleep for a bit.” 

“Tommy hates me,” Sam said quietly. “He blames me, and honestly I don’t blame him.” He sighed, hunching into himself. “I made a mistake, and Tommy - Tommy suffered for it. And… And… the egg - it’s speaking to Hannah. Bad and Ant locked her in with it and I  _ tried _ to stop them - I tried to tell her it was a bad idea to go with them but she didn’t  _ listen _ and now she’s… I don’t know, but she’s… it’s corrupting her as well…she - she attacked me… and Foolish… I don’t know  _ what _ he is but he’s… I don’t know what to do Puffy.” His voice cracked as he spoke, and Puffy reached up to pull him down into a hug.

He curled into her, wrapping his arms around her and shaking slightly. Puffy clung to him, making a quiet mental note to check up on Hannah and talk to her son later, but for now, Sam needed her. 

“It’s okay,” she said softly, gently rubbing his back. “Let’s get you home to Fran, okay?” 

He nodded weakly, and Puffy decided that was a win. 

It was a long trek back to Sam’s house, and Puffy made another mental note to suggest he move Fran a little closer - this was the second time she’d had to make the long trip with a half-conscious Sam draped over her shoulder, and she really didn’t want to ever have a third trip. 

But they arrived eventually, Sam standing silently as Puffy activated the door, watching it carefully chug down. Fran was waiting for them, letting out a soft bark as she caught sight of Sam. 

“Hey, Fran,” Sam said softly, kneeling to wrap his arms around the dog’s neck. She nuzzled into him, whining softly and Puffy felt a small smile cover her face. 

“C’mon, Sam - to bed with you,” she said. Sam nodded absently, standing and walking with one hand on Fran’s head. 

He was asleep almost before he curled onto the bed. Puffy smiled softly as Fran lept up beside him, nosing his wounded arm and whining softly before curling up closely, occasionally licking his ear. 

She sat beside them, carefully picking up Sam’s arm and examining the damage. It looked very infected and she frowned, trying to guess the best course of action. Ideally, she would call Ponk - but she was pretty sure he had been corrupted by the egg as well, so that didn’t seem like a smart action to take. 

With a long sigh, she washed it as best she could and wrapped it, hoping that would do for the moment. More than anything, she could tell Sam needed rest and a proper break. 

She sat back in the chair beside the bed, feeling more exhausted than she could describe. Everything seemed to be going wrong lately - everything had been going wrong for as long as she could remember. 

Maybe longer, she thought quietly, thinking about the wreaked ship she had found, the memories that pressed at the edge of her consciousness. 

She didn’t want to think about that right now. She wanted to look after her friend, to make sure he was okay, and to maybe help the children on the server. 

When Sam woke up, she would suggest he move in with her in Snowchester. He could feel like he was keeping an eye on the prison from there, and it would allow her to feel better about leaving Michelle alone with only Foolish keeping half an eye on her. 

But for now, she curled up in her chair and let her eyes drop, hearing the soft, even breathing of her friend and his dog curled up beside him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have vague ideas of an ongoing series in which Sam moves into Snowchester and it's basically just fluff shenanigans with them being neighbours to Ranboo, Tubbo and Micheal (and Tommy he obviously moves in that mansion is HUGE), Foolish popping in and being an older brother to Michelle (the zombie piglin Puffy adopted), Tommy getting therapy and healing, Techno just happening to come over to 'make sure no government is starting' but actually to hang out with his unofficial nephew Micheal, Fundy having an ongoing rivalry with Techno and Phil re: giant dirt structures outside their house (it's family bonding!), Eggpire making half-hearted attacks that are comically avoided until it turns into more of a game and Bad becomes the doting uncle to Michelle and Micheal he should be, probably some Wilbur stuff, likely some stuff with Niki, Jack or Quackity, prank wars. Obviously, it being me there'll be hurt/comfort and a teeny bit of whump, but it'll all be happy in the end. 
> 
> I dunno I just want fluff and healing feel free to chuck me suggestions but I am entirely at the mercy of my muse so there are no guarantees I will write it. (Also not comfortable writing Tubbo and Ranboo as actually married, or any other romantic stuff really, so if this au goes anywhere they're just basically raising Micheal as more older brother figures to him than parents)


	2. uncle tommy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this before Tommy's plan to defeat Dream stream so it doesn't entirely line up with canon but honestly I Do Not Care. 
> 
> Also I think I said in the last chapter I'm not super comfortable writing Tubbo and Ranboo as married, platonic or otherwise, so in this series, they're working together as friends to raise Micheal.

"What the… -" 

Tommy's exclamation trailed off as he shook water out of his hair, staring at the huge building rising out of the snow. He'd heard rumours Snowchester had expanded but this - this was  _ huge _ . 

He stepped towards it, craning his neck to take in the whole view. It was almost impossible, he struggled to comprehend just how  _ big _ the place was. 

A figure was visible, about a quarter of the way up, standing on scaffolding and painting. As Tommy approached, the figure turned, noticed him, and made his way to the ground. 

Foolish was speckled with paint, a slight grin on his face. 

"I heard you were around again. Welcome back," he greeted. Tommy barely noticed how casual the greeting was, still overwhelmed by the sheer size of the building. 

"What is  _ this _ ?" he demanded. Foolish glanced behind him, wiping a hand across his forehead. 

"Tubbo and Ranboo hired me to make a mansion for them."

Tommy was silent for a long moment, processing. It sure was a mansion. 

"Is Tubbo here?" he asked finally. Foolish frowned. 

"I am not sure. I think he and Ranboo had a thing they were doing together." 

"Okay." He'd come to Snowchester to have a proper talk with Tubbo, to try and figure out the awkwardness between them, to see if Tubbo was  _ willing  _ to work it all out. 

He didn't want to think about how he felt hearing Tubbo and Ranboo were off together. Without him. Again. 

"Can I look around?" he asked suddenly. He wanted -  _ needed _ \- to know. To know what Tubbo's life was like… without him. 

"Uuh, sure. It's pretty much finished, they moved in yesterday. Just uh… maybe stay away from any locked doors." 

"Sure, sure," Tommy said, waving a hand. If there was a tempting enough locked door that wouldn't stop him. Tubbo would understand. 

At least, Tommy was pretty sure he would. 

He moved past Foolish, pushing the door open into the carefully decorated entrance room. 

"Hey, Tommy," Foolish called after him, and he glanced over his shoulder. "It's good to have you back." 

Tommy waved a hand in acknowledgement and closed the door behind him. He was halfway down one of the halls before he realized. 

Foolish was the first person to treat him like  _ himself _ . To not act like he'd seen a ghost, to not treat him like a scientific anomaly or hallucination. 

It made him feel more  _ real _ . Something he wasn't sure if he'd ever experience again. Ever since… 

He'd felt off. Leave it at that. He didn't want to think about that. 

He spent a good half hour exploring. It was reasonably sparse, clearly they hadn't moved in fully, and it wasn't until he made it up the stairs that he started to see signs of his best friend. 

(Former best friend?) 

The first room was bare, but the second was carpeted with red and green, a black bed tucked into the corner. Tommy paused a moment, taking in the picture on the wall - an image of Tubbo, Ranboo and - was that a zombie piglin child? Dressed in a warm sweater? 

This place was weird. 

It wasn't the only picture, various images of pets; cats, rabbits and birds scattered the walls, and an image of Ranboo, Niki and Fundy sat on the bedside table. 

(Tommy ignored the flower on the windowsill, the small purple petals adding an extra splash of colour to the room.) 

The room beside it was yellow. Tommy knew instantly it was Tubbo's, far more chaotic and busy than Ranboo's room. Like Ranboo's room, there was a picture of Tubbo, Ranboo and the piglin child hanging in the wall. 

But it wasn't the only picture. Tubbo had one on his bedside table as well - and this one was of Tommy. 

He was standing in the shadow of the L'manberg wall, looking out of frame at something, wearing the old uniform that made his heart clench. 

And he was  _ smiling _ . A huge, beaming grin that Tommy hadn't felt on his face in a long, long time. He was grinning, braces visible on his teeth, and Tommy could almost hear the barking laughter from his younger self. 

He sat down on the bed and picked up the picture, staring at it. 

"That's who they miss," he said finally. "But it's okay, because I miss him too." 

A lump formed in his throat, and he blinked quickly. He wasn't that boy anymore. 

Before the lump in his throat had a chance to grow any more (he wouldn't have  _ cried _ anyway), a noise caught his attention. Footsteps, pounding down the hall. 

Tommy froze, dropping the picture and drawing the axe of peace instantly, heart beating rapidly. He stayed silent for a long moment, listening. 

The footsteps were too light and fast to be Ranboo, or even Tubbo. Was it a mob? This place was huge, he wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't properly lit and something had spawned.

Taking a deep breath, he cracked the door open and peered out. 

A zombie piglin child was running down the hall and Tommy froze, hoping it didn't see him. 

Then he looked closer, and saw it was wearing a knitted sweater, glanced back at the picture on the wall. 

This was the same kid in the pictures. 

It slowed outside the door, looking around frantically, eyes wet with unshod tears. 

"Boo-OOO-oooo," it cried, and when there was no answer, it sat down and  _ wailed _ . 

Tommy had no idea how to deal with that. He could deal with mobs - they were easy enough to get rid of with a few swings of his axe. But a child, crying and wailing and no one else around - he had  _ no idea _ what to do. 

It kept crying, hiccuping wailing sobs and finally, Tommy couldn't handle it anymore. He slipped the axe of peace away and pushed open the door. 

The cries instantly died down and the child stared up at him, its eyes wide and still watering.

"'Bo," it said stubbornly, glaring at him. Tommy hesitated, sitting down across from him. 

"Uh. Hey," he said. The child glared. 

"Bo?" he asked, a waver in his voice. 

"Tubbo's not here," Tommy said. What was he supposed to do? 

The lower lip started quivering. 

"Boo?" the waver was stronger and Tommy shook his head again. At the negative answer, the kid started wailing again. Tommy flinched at the sudden noise.

"Hey, hey uh…" he moved forward, hesitated. Was the kid okay if he touched it? He wasn't great with touch himself, especially not now, but picking up the kid seemed the best option. 

So he hesitantly moved forward and picked the child up, carefully rocking him. 

"Hey, uh, it's okay," he said, voice tight. (loud loud loud loud too loud and he could  _ feel _ the child in his arms, could feel the wood floor under his feet.) "It's me, big man Tommy Innit!" (be confident don't be afraid you're safe) "What's up, little guy?" 

The kid slowly settled, the wails turning to soft sobs. And then he buried his face into Tommy's shoulder and he stiffened. 

(Dream standing over him, fists tight, mask emotionless, pain pain pain  _ nothing _ ). 

He bit his lip, focusing on the soft sobs of the kid he was holding. 

"What's the matter?" he asked, hesitantly, carefully.

"Mon'ter," the kid muttered. 

“Monster?” he asked. The kid nodded, face still pressed into Tommy’s shoulder. 

Monster - he could deal with a monster. It was probably a stray zombie that had managed to get into the house. 

“You want to show me?” he asked. “I’ll protect you!” 

The kid looked up, eyes wet, but at least the crying had stopped. He nodded, then squirmed, and Tommy was glad to put him on the ground again. 

(What was he doing? This was a child - he shouldn’t be around a child. He was going to do something wrong.) 

He ignored the whispers in his head because the kid was looking up at him, eyes wide and trusting and Tommy let out a long sigh, following him through the halls. 

They stopped outside a door with a colourful name - Micheal - painted halfway up. The kid stopped, pointing at the door and looked back up at Tommy. 

“Mon’ter,” he said. Tommy frowned, stepping forward and carefully putting his hand on the handle. The kid - Micheal, he assumed - let out a small squeal of fear and darted behind Tommy’s legs. 

(He was going to  _ Tommy _ for safety. Tommy didn’t know how to deal with that, didn’t know what to do. That was a bad idea, Tommy couldn’t even look after himself, let alone this kid.)

But no one else was here, and Micheal was relying on him. He pushed the door open and stepped inside, axe of peace in hand.

The room was empty, and Tommy quickly scanned all the corners of the room. Micheal stood by the door, eyes wide, gripping the edge and Tommy glanced back at him. 

“No monster,” he said. Micheal shook his head, pointing towards the closet. Carefully, Tommy gripped his axe and pushed the door open. 

A cat lay curled at the bottom, looking up at Tommy with an unimpressed expression. Tommy barked a laugh and turned back to Micheal.

“It’s just a cat,” he said, pointing the axe at it. Micheal hesitated, stepping forward, and Tommy slipped the axe away, stepping back to reveal the cat. 

“En’er’ches!” Micheal said. He ran into the room, grinning, and pulled the cat into a hug. Tommy snorted, sitting down beside him. 

“Hey, Micheal,” he said. The kid looked up, cat still firmly gripped in his arms and looking even more unimpressed than before. “Can you say pussy? Cos that’s what it is.” 

Micheal didn’t answer, staring at him for a long moment, and then laughed. 

Tommy couldn’t help the small smile that crept across his face at the sound. It was a pure, soft sound of  _ happiness _ , and Tommy didn’t know how long it had been since he’d heard a laugh of pure happiness. 

“Nit,” Micheal said suddenly. He released the cat, who bolted out of the room. Micheal pointed at Tommy, smiling. 

“Huh? No, I’m Tommy. TommyInnit.”    
“Nit,” Micheal said again and then ran forward to fling himself at Tommy. 

Tommy froze at the sensation of the small arms around him. He held his breath, fighting down the bad memories the touch brought, focusing on the warmth of the boy’s arms, on the  _ good _ of the touch. 

Micheal had chosen him.

Carefully, he pulled the boy back, his skin crawling at the touch - there had been too much in too short a time. Micheal didn’t seem to mind, just sat down in front of him, looking up at him with adoring eyes. 

“Okay big man,” he said quietly, and maybe his voice was a little rough, and maybe his eyes were a little wet, but he didn’t care because this child had chosen him, hadn’t run, hadn’t wanted anything more than what he could give, than who he  _ was _ . “I can be Nit.” 


End file.
